What to Do When You're Out of Clothes to Wear

One day, you will wake up, and get ready for your day, and open your closet.  And you will see, in your closet, nothing but bare hangers and a bit of lint in the corner.  Maybe an old baseball glove or magazine sticking out of a cardboard box.  But nothing, absolutely nothing to wear.

You will be confused.  You will be afraid.  These are reasonable responses.  But you're going to have to overcome them and move forward.  With my help, I believe, no, I know that you will surmount this challenge.

I Review Paranormal Activity

Paranormal Activity is a movie about paranormal activity.  It is not a documentary, as the advertisements would have you believe.  It is entirely fictitious.  It had an extremely low budget, the lowest budget for a feature film since The Blair Witch Project.

This is the only laudable fact about the entire movie.  Everything else is total shit.

Things I Hate About Clothes

Clothing. Kloathing. [kloðiŋ]. Such an ugly word.

Spanish is a bit better. La ropa. French: les vêtements.

If you're a sane individual, you sleep in the nude, you know, conditions allowing. You're cold? Blanket, meet weakling, you'll be friends.* Temperature is never an excuse to put clothing on in a bedtime situation, as long as proper bedtime apparatuses are available and maintained.

If you're like me, you're naked every chance you get. Why? Because it's goddamn comfortable, that's why. You weren't born with a wool sweater on. You know, unless you're a llama. But, then you'd have to explain how you can even read this shit, operate a computer, get anywhere near a computer, you know... llama logistics. Llagistics. Homework assignment: Use "llagistics" in daily conversation.

Mutant llama freak!