I Review Paranormal Activity

Paranormal Activity is a movie about paranormal activity.  It is not a documentary, as the advertisements would have you believe.  It is entirely fictitious.  It had an extremely low budget, the lowest budget for a feature film since The Blair Witch Project.

This is the only laudable fact about the entire movie.  Everything else is total shit.

Things You Can Do with Ducks

Ducks.  What are ducks?  Wikipedia, the Alexandrian library of the internet, defines ducks as "the common name for a number of species in the Anatidae family of birds...  Ducks are mostly aquatic birds, mostly smaller than the swans and geese, and may be found in both fresh water and sea water."  Also, they handily give a picture:

Hi duckie!  Who's a cutie?  You're a cutie!

That's great and all, but it doesn't really tell you anything about what you can do with them, and, as we all know, the value of any natural feature of our world is only to be found in how we can exploit it.

I'm going to tell you how you can exploit ducks.