Day: Final

I am... of no consequence. Just another man. I lay alone, staring at the ceiling, reflecting. Has it really been almost three years now? Three years since they arrived. The invaders, the huskers. Bitter, heartless beings bent on nothing but death and destruction. Ripping out the chests of innocents, crawling into their mangled remains, distorting, warping, horrendous. Forcing the dead to move about like horrible, stringless marionettes. How many of us are left? I can't say. Weeks, months, not a soul have I encountered. Alone in a world bent on my destruction. They gnaw at my sanity, the wheezes and howls that echo down these empty roads. I have to make it stop. I will make it stop.

I drag myself off of my dilapidated mattress. Not that I had been sleeping. Not for weeks, years, centuries. Who knows. I examine my surroundings, a small suburban home; Boarded up and slowly rotting away. Unpleasant but familiar, hiding me away from them like a worthless coward. No more. Months of planning, searching. Building after building, scraped clean of all weapons and volatile substances. All in preparation for this day. Armageddon. Every crevice crammed with weaponry. Oven, sink, fridge, packed to the brim with explosives. I am ready.

How to be a Knight

So I'm pretty sure your life sucks pretty hard. In fact, I'm certain you were about to kill yourself. Which raises a pretty good question: Was reading this really going to be your final act? You might as well kill yourself if that's what your priorities are. Wait, no. Read this first.

You should clearly take up the noble career of KNIGHTSMANSHIP because, seriously, no one cares about your mastery of ANGSTMANSHIP. It's a relatively simple task if you follow these easy steps.