Things I Hate About Answering Machines

Dear reader, I work as a telemarketer of sorts.  No, no, not one of those evil ones, hawking shitty wares and clawing at your ears for the credit card numbers in your brains/wallets.  I work soliciting donations from the alumni of my school, to support said school in these tough economic times.

Now, the thing about that is, people are almost never rude to me when I call.  They understand that I'm doing this as a student to pay for food*, and also that it's a good cause.**  But there are also people who cannot contribute, and they feel bad.  So bad, that they might not even answer the phone.

There are a lot of these people.

I listen to a lot of answering machines.

This is what I hate about them.

Things I Hate About Clothes

Clothing. Kloathing. [kloðiŋ]. Such an ugly word.

Spanish is a bit better. La ropa. French: les vêtements.

If you're a sane individual, you sleep in the nude, you know, conditions allowing. You're cold? Blanket, meet weakling, you'll be friends.* Temperature is never an excuse to put clothing on in a bedtime situation, as long as proper bedtime apparatuses are available and maintained.

If you're like me, you're naked every chance you get. Why? Because it's goddamn comfortable, that's why. You weren't born with a wool sweater on. You know, unless you're a llama. But, then you'd have to explain how you can even read this shit, operate a computer, get anywhere near a computer, you know... llama logistics. Llagistics. Homework assignment: Use "llagistics" in daily conversation.

Mutant llama freak!