Oh Sweet Helena!

When I was a young man, many untruths reigned freely in my troubled mind. Despite my father’s wisdom, I regularly mistook any fleeting glance from a lady to be signs of unrequited love. The passions that raged within me from these accidental moments would be quelled only by drowning them later in wine, when I would writhe in miserable anguish on the study floor, red sediment staining my lips from their familiar hold on the bottle.

Helena was by far the most thirst-inducing of all the nymphs of my youth. Oh sweet Helena, forgive my foolishness!

Things You Can Do with Spoons

Spoons are, without a doubt, one of man's most versatile implements.  Every day, it is likely that you will come within two feet of a spoon at least once.  Why?  Because they are so ridiculously useful.  I personally carry at least three spoons of varying size and shape at all times.

This is a spoon.