Is it a guest blog? Or just a... blog? The World May Never Know (TM)

So I write some funny things on Facebook sometimes. These are some of those.


First, as context, for a while (approximately twelve hours) my profile picture was a ridiculously confused baby. This baby had nothing to do with me at all but was still pretty confused. I wrote the following status:

"the lowercase italicized "f" is always a character I am quick to study in great detail when judging the merit of a typeface. If you can't produce an amazing lowercase italicized "f" easily, you probably shouldn't be in the typeface business."

A Stroll in the Park

Dear readers, please forgive my hiatus. My ladyfriend Catherine recently returned from tending to her ill mother. After the rather emotional weeks she spent as a doting nursemaid, she demanded my exclusive company for several days. Although it was, as always, a delight to entertain her and regale her with anecdotes and fictitious adventures, it kept my pen from my paper for a length of time.

While C. takes great pleasure in wandering the grounds on my estate, after a few days she suggested we travel to the city and enjoy some of the public parklands there. One of our great pastimes is sitting discretely on a bench and regarding the passersby and other various parkgoers, commenting on them mercilessly. We attempt, like children, to maintain our composure and dignity when others approach, switching our discourse to politics, the flux in the transportation market, and so on.

Fire: Pretty Useful

Recent scientific experimentation has led to the discovery, and subsequent understanding, of fire. A volatile and destructive element with the potential to level cities and vapourize forests. You may think that something so powerful should be destroyed, but you would be mistaken. Fire has infinite practical applications that could bring our glorious society into a golden age of prosperity.

First off, and most importantly, it makes everything awesome. Are you having trouble courting the members of the fairer sex with your considerable skills in the art of fencing? Set your foil ablaze, good sir! The ladies will have no choice but to accept your marriage proposals!

This man is fending off all the ladies who want him.