Things You Shouldn't Put Syrup On

Syrup.  Ambrosial nectar of the gods on high.  Just saying the name makes my mouth water.

Kids know what's up with syrup.  Pancakes?  Waffles?  Pah.  They are but vessels for the glory of the sauce.  To call them a foodstuff is like calling the Popemobile the infallible mouth of God.

And yet, just as the Pope does not belong in certain situations,* syrup need not grace all substances with its sacred sweetness.  What follows, beyond the mysterious "read more" link, is a short list of just a few of these things.

What To Do When You've Burnt Your Tongue

So, you've burnt your tongue.  Maybe you ate some microwaved product too fast.  Maybe you were walking on a bed of coals and you fell, but your hands were tied, so all you could do was fling out your tongue with wild abandon in hopes of protecting the rest of your body.  Maybe you were attacked by one of the infamous Sense Death biker gang, whose modus operandi is the crippling of the senses of those who offend them.

Maybe you just didn't want the bees to sting your tongue.  Completely reasonable!

None of this matters.  In the end, your tongue is burnt, and you've no idea what to do.  Wonder no more, dear readers.  I am here to solve all of your problems.  You're welcome.

Bees are Pretty Scary, Guys & Guyettes - by Austin

Okay, so Austin is a pretty cool dude.  You might know him as Xyzzy or [zz].  He wrote a guest post.  That's about all there is to this introduction, so here's the post!

(Dear God don't let him get me with his flying death minions).

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Bees are Pretty Scary, Guys & Guyettes

Today on Facebook I sent Ryan a message telling him that I'd sic bees on him if he didn't let me write something for his blog. He said "yeah I'm totally afraid of your bees" or something to that effect.

I bet he sounded even more like a scared little girl, actually. I'd go read it since I still have my web browser opened up and the chat window with him is still the active one and I haven't reset the chat history or something like that. Ryan pretty much always sounds like a scared little girl when you threaten to sic bees on him. Bees are vicious little bastards, after all. Not that I'm afraid of them, of course. I fear nothing.