Things You Can Do with Lint

Lint.  You all know what it is.  You probably leave it in your dryer's lint trap for several loads at once, endangering your own life and those of your family just because you're lazy.  Perfectly understandable.  Except it's not.

So here's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to give you that extra motivation you need to collect and dispose of that lint, by showing you a metric fuckton of things you can do with what amounts to the dead skin of your clothing.

Things You Can Do with Ducks, Revisited

It has been brought to my attention that I have forgotten several things you can do with ducks in my prior treatment. Read on for several more fun activities you can do with our seaplane buddies!  Whom you should despise without reservation.  But still, read on!

Things You Can Do with Ducks

Ducks.  What are ducks?  Wikipedia, the Alexandrian library of the internet, defines ducks as "the common name for a number of species in the Anatidae family of birds...  Ducks are mostly aquatic birds, mostly smaller than the swans and geese, and may be found in both fresh water and sea water."  Also, they handily give a picture:

Hi duckie!  Who's a cutie?  You're a cutie!

That's great and all, but it doesn't really tell you anything about what you can do with them, and, as we all know, the value of any natural feature of our world is only to be found in how we can exploit it.

I'm going to tell you how you can exploit ducks. 

Things You Can Do with Spoons

Spoons are, without a doubt, one of man's most versatile implements.  Every day, it is likely that you will come within two feet of a spoon at least once.  Why?  Because they are so ridiculously useful.  I personally carry at least three spoons of varying size and shape at all times.

This is a spoon.